Helpmates summit 2009 was not just another relationship seminar on campus. With its theme in view (A helpmate suitable for your heart), the programme

brought to light important biblical truths which would help believers in their choice of helpmates including spouses. In spite of the many challenges which threatened the possibility of the programme, Helpmates Summit ‘09 was well organized and fruitful to the many participating youth.

The first speaker for the day was Mrs. Affy Adeleye (IFES Coordinator – HIV/AIDS programme) and she spoke on the topic “The Woman, Her words, Her worth and her weapons”. Mrs. Affy started off with the woman and her beauty, expressing great concern about how wrongly people have defined beauty over the years considering only the physical looks. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Prov. 31:30 NKJV). The Bible in Basic English (BBE) puts it “Fair looks are a deceit, and a beautiful form is of no value; but a woman who has the fear of the Lord is to be praised”!!! Mrs. Adeleye said that true beauty starts from inside before it manifests on the outside, which demands of us to have a full recognition and complete knowledge of our true (inner) selves.

Reading from Genesis 1:26 -31, Mrs. Affy explained how God created mankind in the image and likeness of the Godhead – thus a similitude of God but not an identical of Him. She noted that God placed in man something of Him which could only be satisfied by Him, making any sought for satisfaction without cognizance of the God factor, a failure bound seek. She acknowledged that God made mankind male and female, but emphasized that the woman was so carefully formed to be the best helpmate for the man. She quoted Mathew Henry’ view on the fact that the woman was formed from the side of the man, that the woman was “not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved”.

Mrs. Adeleye further admonished the ladies to recognize themselves as God’s very precious and special creation; God’s “designer” product. She said that the awareness of this truth should not give room to any more of lives of low self –esteems. “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent” she said, urging the ladies to prevent people from unnecessarily pressuring them into things which adversely affect their essence of creation.

Madam Affy placed great emphasis on the need for young people to pray earnestly about their partners rather than begin a try and see search out of their own will and desires. She indicated that God has a great disinterest in unscrupulous relationships and wants us to redeem time for things more urgent in the youth stage of life than relationships. Mrs. Adeleye again emphasized how distractive and time wasting campus relationships could be, encouraging participants to concentrate on their schooling more than relationships (while in school).

Concerning peer pressure, Mrs. Adeleye said that when one submits to pressures from peers, she is reduced to the level of those people.  “When 4 million people believe in a dung idea, it is still a dung idea”, she added. She also asked the ladies to watch out for guys who would want to rush them into premarital sex; “they don’t understand the value God has placed in you”! Madam Affy however acknowledged that ladies would need the support of guys (good ones) in their quest for true self discovery.

Mrs. Adeleye also talked about how ladies should glorify God in their communication. With reference to James 3:1 -12, she emphasized on the need for the tongue to be controlled in the light of salted speech. The verse compares the tongue to ‘bits’ given to horses, which are so small but that which actually makes them totally obedient to man’s directions, and the ‘rudder’ of a ship which is so small, yet that which actually drives the ship. In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking (Prov. 10:19). Madam Affy urged the young people gathered to cultivate the attitude of being slow to speak, and to speak in view of judgment.

Being a deadly poison, she said that the tongue could bring all forms of dissensions because of its tendency to speak fire and sharp words. Instead of using them for unpleasant speech, Mrs. Adeleye advised that the tongue be used to say pleasant words and guarded from speaking evil. “Pr 12:18 - There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise [promotes] health”.

Madam also noted that Satan would never give up on tempting believers simply because they are saved. To this effect, she implored participants to put on the whole armour of God (Eph. 6:10 -19). She said emphatically that one of the greatest of the weapons ladies must guard their lives with is “praying in the Holy Spirit”. “When Satan tries to make ladies subtle, deceitful and manipulative, the belt of truth must be worn for integrity to prevail”, she said. She also said that the breastplate of righteousness should be used to guard against Satan’s deception for ladies to lead men into sin, and that complaints and grumblings should be turned into praise and thanksgiving to God!

She concluded on the sincere note that ladies would definitely need the support of (true Christian) men to come to this place of true self discovery and be the best helpmate to the opposite sex even as to the glory of God!